Birds navigating through snow dump. Get at it birds! This is a metaphor. I'm the fucking bird.

Friendships & Generalized Weirdness

Laura Johnson
3 min readJan 11, 2023

She stood at my desk unwrapping a chocolate. "I was going to stop by Saturday with a pack of Modela’s - like, hello!"

Her words startled me. I clenched and blurted, "oh my!" Recovering, I recalled the day, "We went to town for more house stuff." Plausible, regardless of my memory since we’re being busy building and moving.

My husband’s reaction toward her unannounced stop-in would’ve been a mixture of horror and abject confusion - who is this person violating our space?

It has not happened before, in our history.

Yesterday, I told a couple of co-workers that I have no friends. Of course, it was mentioned within the conversation, attempting to explain why our future hot tub would not be part of the future patio grill area.

They kindly let it flow, however, I had to burrow deeper, "it’s just me and my husband and our dog.”

….breathing….

What is going on here? Am I taking applications?

"I’m slightly feral." I told my co-worker in response to his query about why I’m not comfortable with greeting people (my office is close to the lobby). I just do not have the social savvy for small talk exchanges.

Those familiar with my stuff here have heard this before. If I ever publish this…

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Laura Johnson

Yammering bits and some blathering. Humor is my first language, my second skin, and my hello.